In one of my many past jobs, I was a customer service agent for a major United States bank. Over time, I came to notice that although I greeted each caller with a pleasant “Good Morning, Who do I have the pleasure of speaking to?” many times, I was greeted not with a first and last name, but with “You should really do something about the automated system!” or “I’ve been on hold for 20 minutes.” Don’t get me wrong, I dislike waiting as much as the next person, but now that the objective of speaking to a person has been met, what purpose does complaining serve you? Talk about a frequency disrupter!
Complaining is expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance about something, and there are many reasons why people complain, including:
- I complain as a way to connect with others. When they commiserate with me, I feel less alone.
- I complain as a way to have something to say. I wouldn’t know what to say if I didn’t complain about something.
- I complain rather than speak my truth about what is happening between me and another person.
- I complain because I’m miserable when I’m not taking care of myself.
- And the list goes on!
As we work to manifest our maximum, let’s go through a number of problems with complaining that you might not be aware of.
Complaining keeps you stuck in the role of being a victim
Complaining doesn’t change anything. It just keeps you stuck, victimized, repeating old patterns and unable to change them. The alternative? Take responsibility for your part, forgive yourself for the patterns you’ve perpetuated, treat yourself with the love and respect that you know you deserve, and begin to make positive changes in your life.
Complaining lowers your energetic frequency and makes it much harder to connect with your higher self – your source of love, wisdom and Guidance
The Law of Attraction tells us that we attract that which we focus on. If we choose to dwell on negative situations by speaking them into life, we will attract additional opportunities for complaint. This puts us in a vicious cycle that takes us further from our highest self. Furthermore, thoughts become things: your thoughts reshape your brain, and thus change a physical construct of reality.
In addition to lowering your energetic frequency, complaining can negatively impact your health.
Prolonged complaining leads to stress, and it’s well documented that prolonged stress makes us sick: weakening the immune system, raising blood pressure, increasing the risk of heart disease, obesity, and diabetes, and causing a plethora of other ailments.
Scientists have known for years that elevated cortisol levels (the stress hormone) interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, promote weight gain and heart disease, and increase blood pressure and cholesterol. Chronic stress and elevated cortisol levels also increase risk for depression and mental illness, and lower life expectancy.
People are often put off by complainers – unless you are complaining to others who also like to complain and commiserate
Your loved ones certainly want to offer support if you’re going through a tough time. But it’s important to stop complaining before you’ve abused their generosity and care. Some friends may feel burnt out and pushed away by chronic complaining. Additionally, people realize that the negativity that your complaining projects adversely affects them as well.
If you’ve been a complainer for most of your life, then in order to stop, you need to decide to notice it. Complaining might be so automatic for you that you are not even aware of it.
One way of becoming aware of it is to ask the people around you to let you know when you complain. This can be both humbling and challenging, but if you really want to know, this is a good way of learning. Chances are you will be surprised at how often you complain!
Once you are more cognizant of your complaining habit, you might feel at a loss regarding what else to do or talk about. May I suggest that you focus on what you are happy about and grateful for and share that? The added benefit of this is that as you focus your thoughts on what you want, the Law of Attraction will bring more of these types of experiences into your life.
Lastly, use your complaints as launch pads for change. If there is something in your universe that you are complaining about, take responsibility for your happiness and your life and change it! If you want to change your situation you have to take action. Start small; ten minutes a day can help you to make progress in working towards making your life happier and more successful.
Complaining simply reinforces in your mind that which you do not want in your life. You are consistently telling your mind “Look at this!” and “Think about this!” And never forget that what you choose to focus on in your mind will determine the results that you manifest in your life.
You really can have the desires of your heart. Why not stop complaining and start focusing on your desires instead? While you anticipate those desires that are surely on their way, enjoy the life that you have now. Make a habit of being grateful for what you have and enjoy your life to the fullest each day.
The choice of what to focus on is always yours. Choose carefully and wisely. Your future depends on it!