I came across this letter and I wanted to share it with you. I wonder how often you feel the way this reader did. I know I catch myself having counterproductive thoughts more often than I’d like . Thankfully, the quote goes “We become what we think about most of the time.”
This means that we really only have to be positive 51% of the time. Clearly more is better, but if you’re having a bad day, week, or month (and let’s face it – we all do from time to time) it’s okay to redirect your toxic thoughts as soon as you recognize them. You can shift your mood and mind with a mere 17 seconds of positive visualization. Over time, just as Rebecca said, “feeling (and thinking) good is my dominant feeling.”
“I don’t know why I’m writing this – it’s so unlike me to actually feel ‘hopeless.’ I am a single mom raising two teenaged boys. After my youngest was assaulted on the way to school last year, I quit a decent job in television to start my own marketing/public relations business out of my home. I had two clients that enabled me to earn more than I had working for the television station. And then in March, one of my clients and I parted ways. We had very different expectations. Ultimately, we each had contrasting views of what my role would be. That cut my income in half.
I have attracted one new client – but at a third of what my former client paid. And now, I’m in debt (deeply). My account is overdrawn because my other significant client “got behind” and didn’t put the automatic payment into my account until yesterday – and it takes 24-72 hours for it to show up (they told me it was going to be put in last Thursday)! My ex’s child support is late and I don’t even have enough money to pay for groceries until the money shows up. I’m terrified that checks will bounce and I’ll be left with nothing.
I can’t sleep. My stomach is in knots. I almost feel as if my kids would be better off with their dad. He’s very well off and could afford to give them everything that I can’t.
I don’t know how to get out of this poverty mentality. I don’t know why I have such feelings of lack when it comes to my finances. Tomorrow I have a meeting with a potential client and I can’t even focus on putting together a presentation for him. It’s as if I already know that he won’t want to work with me, let alone PAY me. I get so up for things, I have such great expectations and then everything falls flat.
In ALL other areas of my life, I’m doing well. My kids are terrific – good hearts, straight-A students, excellent athletes. I don’t have weight issues.
I don’t have problems with my relationships with the opposite sex. It’s just that MONEY seems to be slipping out of my grasp.
Quite honestly, I do believe that money buys a fair amount of happiness. At least for me, knowing what I’ve gone through these past years, it would buy some peace of mind. And that’s what I want. Freedom and peace of mind. To go where I want. To do what I want. To FEEL how I want to feel.
Can you help me get out of this negative spiral?”
Thanks so much for writing. And I hope you are feeling better. YEP. I’ve been there a few times. I can remember days when all I could do was walk around the house saying, ‘I just want to feel good’ over and over. Eventually, I did start to feel better. Now, feeling good is my dominant feeling.
Actually, you are an excellent ‘attractor‘–look at what you are telling yourself about money and then notice how you are attracting more of the same.
If I were coaching you, I would ask you to take a piece of paper, and draw a big letter T on it. Then label the left column “I don’t want” and the right hand column, ‘”I do want”.
First make a list of everything you don’t want. Just use the letter you sent to me and write down stuff like:
*I don’t want clients paying me late.
*I don’t want cheap clients who can’t afford to pay me what I’m worth.
*I don’t want child support payments to be late.
Get all the negatives OUT of yourself and onto paper.
Then go through each item, and ask yourself, “If I don’t want this, then what do I want?” and write down what you DO want in the right hand column.
When you’ve written a ‘Do Want’ for each item on the left, FOLD THE PAPER down the middle so you are looking at the ‘Do Want’ list. Keep that list in front of you at all times. Start to imagine what it would feel like having clients who JOYFULLY pay for your services. How wonderful it is when the Child Support checks arrive a day early! Work at keeping your FOCUS on what you DO WANT. If you start to think or talk about something on the ‘Don’t Want’ side, just say, “I’ve dealt with that, AND what I DO want is…”
The T-tool is the BEST Law of Attraction Tool for getting clarity! And once you have clarity, what you want IS on its way to you.
Just as with all Law Of Attraction exercises, this one is as simple as writing out 2 lists. But as we all know, it’s also that hard! We are trying to unwind years of negative thoughts and mend broken expectations.
If you find that your negative thoughts outweigh your positive thoughts, in addition to the T-tool, consider reciting and repeating affirmations or taking a walk outside to get in tune with nature. Again….all simple solutions, but not easy. What’s important is that you find the quickest, most effective way to get your thoughts to positive at least 51% of the time!
P.S. I might also interject that the reader should focus on the good things that she has in her life! Her sons are terrific, she has no weight loss problems, and she has no problems with romantic relationships. She must be grateful for those things and she will attract to herself more things to be grateful for!